The Sport is Life...
When CrossFit impacts your life in a profound and life inspiring way
Leslie Josker's Story
I didn’t marry at a young age. When I say that, I am not just talking specifically about age. After all, it is just a number. Mentally I was in a mature state of mind. At the time, I had accomplished what I set forth for myself career wise. I was in great health mentally and physically as well. I knew what I wanted in life. I knew who I wanted to be by my side as well. We married and everything was as it should be.
Or so I wanted to believe.
Several years had passed. At this point I began to feel emotionally and mentally drained. Our marriage was a verbal combat with each other. The toxicity was consuming me and began to show on me physically. I started to gain weight. Of course I noticed, but at that point in my life I had been beaten down to my lowest point mentally to where I did not have the respect for myself to even care. I needed to be slapped across my face a few times by reality. When reality finally did show up, it lit a fire underneath me that I had never felt before.
After the ink was dry on my divorce papers, I was admittedly scared. By this time our child was only a year and a half. I was not scared of being a “single mom”. I was scared because I knew I had to change. I needed to change for myself. I have a tiny mini-me human being literally looking up to me. He is going to need a strong mom to shine as a strong example of someone who came out of the dark tunnel, into the light. I knew what I wanted to do.
My first experience back at CrossFit was an emotional one for me. I had never been overweight. It was a humbling experience for me. I was starting back at square one with my fitness journey and now my solo self discovery journey as well. For several months I would break down and cry while I was driving home after I had just finished a workout. When it first started I could not understand why I was emotional. Then I started to realize that I was pushing myself harder to get through my workouts and that was my release. With every pound that was shed, it began to resemble everything that was toxic in my marriage. I began to feel lighter. Not so much in the physical sense, but more so mentally.
I am coming up on my one-year mark post divorce. I have once again evolved. I have become what I wanted to become, a strong woman again. I needed to push myself at CrossFit. It was my form of therapy. I had a couple of conversations with a couple of our coaches and members after a workout where I would break down and cry. I felt safe to be able to do so. I truly believe that once you start to feel physically stronger, your mind follows suit. I have been able to forgive my ex-husband, as well as myself, in my mind. I have been able to find happiness after divorce through CrossFit and my own perseverance to achieve my own definition of success. My journey is not over. It has only just begun.